The anatomy of a damn good story-driven email

Today, I’m digging into my inbox and pulling out an absolute gem of an email to share with you. But it’s not one of my own emails. 

It’s from an entrepreneur & biz owner whose emails can end up crazy-long and defy the whole idea that “people only read short emails.” 

(Because * ahem * if you give them something worth reading, they will come in droves.)

Before we get into it, one of my personal fave things to do is to sign up to emails for the sake of learning.

My inbox has become a slew of emails that seem to come in faster than I can read them (I think this goes far beyond what I could call a “collection” at this point).

But I continue to sign up and gather more for the sake of my own not-so-guilty pleasure of learning from others. Sure, it helps ME become a better writer. But also, I’m here to help YOU.

And what good does it do you if I keep all of these ah-ha! and “mind blown” moments to myself?

So I figured, let’s give this a go and tear apart an email (nicely, of course) to see another person’s writing in action so we can make our own just that much better.

This email comes to you from Jen Olmstead, co-owner of Tonic Site Shop (whose website is also very drool-worthy… which makes sense. They’re designers who sell website templates 😂)

Even though they provide services for people with Showit sites (and I personally have and love Squarespace), I signed up for Jen’s emails on recommendation from a fellow copywriter and haven’t looked back. Her emails are just, chef’s kiss.

And when this one popped into my inbox almost 2 weeks ago, I was like

* cracks knuckles * we’re doing this.

This email is the perfect example of how to start with a seemingly random story and later tie it in, or pivot, to a specific CTA (call to action). I actually dig into this in more detail here!

(Even though I already mentioned this was Jen’s email, I’m going to reiterate: I did not write this. I’m just writing about it for educational purposes.)

And at the very bottom, I’ll tie everything up in a quick little summary for yah. In other words… I guess I’ll give you a TL;DR 😉

Starting with the subject line

I love Jen’s subject lines because they make you stop and go, “wait, what??”

She immediately stirs up some curiosity (this is VERY on-brand for her) and anyone who is a loyal fan of her emails knows they’re in for something good. 

What does “eat burritos” even mean? 
Why did those two words stand out to her?
What’s the importance behind this food?

Especially as you’re building up trust with your community, your subject line can make or break your email. Because what good is the body of your email if no one even wants to open it?

So if you haven’t tried piquing curiosity yet, let this be your inspo to give it a go 😉

Holy hell, that hook! 

An intriguing hook that makes you want to continue reading? Check.

This single line works for so many reasons. First, it keeps going with this theme of curiosity from the subject line. You’re left wondering, okay, what on earth is she about to start talking about? (And knowing Jen’s style, it’s going to be damn entertaining… and also, it could literally be anything.)

It also shares this realization that she had in the form of a question. So not only is she having this “holy shit” moment but she’s presenting it in a way that implies “did you already know this?”

And one of the most important tips? She adds personalization. She’s popping my name right in the opening line (something I do as well) so there’s an immediate connection between us from the get go.

Psst… If you want more info about hooks specifically, check out this blog post for 7 ways to try 😊

The backstory behind the hook

Jen doesn’t waste any time in letting us know what caused her to have this realization. In the next few lines, she starts explaining what happened to provoke this thought… and the email it inspired her to write.

Also, one of the best things about this email? It just further proves that the normal, everyday moments we experience really do make for the best story content. No one wants grandiose fairytale bullshit. They want real, relatable stories. 

Anyway, back to Jen.

Jen doesn’t make us wait - in the first line she gets right into the trait that skipped a generation. We learn that her daughter is driven by organization and checklists while Jen struggles at even trying to start one.

She then explains, in detail, real feelings and emotions… how she feels when she looks at her daughter’s list and the feeling she experiences in wanting that single thing to look forward to (burritos, of course) at the end of her crazy week.

Visuals to emphasize 

While I personally don’t always have an image from real life to share (though I have sometimes!), I do like to add in a meme or a GIF to help really drive a point home. In this case, Jen shared a photo she took of a page in her child’s notebook… the page with the now-famous checklist which included burritos, of course 🌯

A shared moment between friends 

I love how Jen digs a little deeper here to pull the reader in and make them feel like they’re a part of the action. It’s as if they and Jen are looking through the list together and strengthening their friendship over this shared moment. 

(And if you haven’t figured it out by now, it’s literally ALL ABOUT building connections and relationships with the people you serve… not just selling.)

Some hidden insight 

In this case, yes, insight from a 9 year old. That last line is a hidden gem. It’s not even the star of the show here but it’s SO DAMN IMPORTANT.

If you fail to plan, you plan to fail!

I mean, if that isn’t the damn truth. It’s like a little bonus nugget of wisdom we can take into our own biz. If we don’t set goals, break steps down into smaller actionable steps, and then DO it… we’re not going to get very far.

Thank you for this little tip, Jen.

The perfect pivot

Ah, the art of the pivot. This is the whole POINT of the email. It’s time to take the story and connect it to the single thing that drove Jen to write the email in the first place.

She so effortlessly ties in her daughter’s flawless checklist skills into the single action she wants the reader to take:

Be like her well-organized kiddo who plans ahead and add this launch date to your notebook. 

And then she gives the date, time, and a little bit of info about what exactly is being launched so the reader can start freaking out a couple weeks in advance and prepare themself for what’s to come.

Also, the pop culture reference to the recent Taylor Swift tour is a nice touch (and again, on brand for her).

Oh, and I know pivoting from the story to the point isn’t always as easy as Jen makes it. But this blog post is all about this magical pivot point and it can help 😊

Make it irresistible… and easy

Instead of just calling it a day there, Jen takes it a step further. She makes this upcoming launch irresistible for her readers AND she makes taking the next step easy. 

She includes a linked image (which in the original email, is below the “want a sneak peek…” headline) so people don’t even have to wait for the launch to see what goodness is coming.

And theeen she adds a link for people to add it to their calendar. It’s easy for them and it’s good for Jen. People * think * they’re going to remember… but things happen. And they forget.

But a calendar reminder popping up the day of the launch is a perfect way to keep her audience engaged long after this email and on the most important day.

The special sign off

After sharing the sneak peek image, she closes up the email in a way that ties everything together. 

That she’s going to go “run around” as her daughter had listed on the checklist. Little touches like this just make the email feel human. 

Like, sidenote,I can’t believe that some people are having AI write their emails entirely. Because AI can’t write a damn good story and add in the human touches that your community craves, you know?

Anyway, her signoff also pays homage to the burrito (or should I spell it as the 9-year-old would - “burito”) that led us into their email in the first place. Jen’s sign offs always relate to the body and context of the email. It’s like her thing.

Also, who doesn’t love a relatable PS to really make it feel like an email among friends, RIGHT?? (Because yes, I can totally relate to the dumpster fire too 😅)

To wrap it all up

Remember, Jen’s way of writing emails is just one approach in a sea of writing styles.

Is this a one-size-fits-all way to write your emails? Nope! 
Is every email going to follow this order or theme of things? Nope! 
Do you need to copy what Jen does for your email to work? Nope!

But there are SO MANY things that just work so well in her emails, I couldn’t resist sharing. And I encourage you to take some inspo from her writing just as much as I do!

Here’s a summary of what Jen showed us:

-Start off with a curiosity-piquing subject line 

-Write a hook (with personalization) that continues the theme of curiosity

-Give the backstory behind the hook… complete with feelings and emotions to make the moment more relatable 

-Share an image (real, meme, or GIF) that helps emphasize the point

-Include the reader in the moment to build trust and connection

-Pop a little hidden insight here and there for good measure

-Perfectly pivot from the story to the CTA

-Make the offer irresistible and the CTA easy

-Sign off in style

-PS message for that email-among-friends touch 

Exciting stuff, right? So… ready to start writing your own story-driven emails? I promise, it’s not as hard as it looks! 

If you take a peek back up there 👆🏻, I've got a bunch of other posts linked that’ll help.

You can also grab this free guide that takes you step-by-step in figuring out things like what to write about and how to even go about writing it. 

I’ve been told it’s helpful, so get your hands on it! Clickity click here and it’s yours 😉 

What was something new you learned from digging into Jen’s emails? Did you see something you want to give a try? 

Did you enjoy taking a peek at someone else’s email with me and want to see more of this?

Tell me your deepest desires 👇🏻

And if your deepest desire involves swooning over emails but not having to write them yourself because that’s not your jam…

I’d love to be your magic genie and grant your wish.
Let’s have a chat and see how I can support your biz!