Today, I stopped letting perfectionism hold me back

Oh, I can’t post that. I haven’t figured out the perfect way to explain it.

Why haven’t I started my email list? Oh, probably just me being a perfectionist again.

If I make a mistake, they’re not going to trust what I have to say. It has to be perfect.

I used to come up with every excuse in the book. For every step I wanted to take out of my old career and into the next adventure, I could tell myself ten reasons why I wasn’t ready. And while for many people, perfectionism can be linked to anxiety and other mental health issues… I used to throw the term around as an excuse.

Because if something wasn’t perfect, I wouldn’t put it out into the world.

And if I wasn’t putting myself in a vulnerable position and sharing my thoughts, ideas, and insights…

I couldn’t fail.

It was a way to stay safe. To protect myself from my fear of the unknown and continue on with what I was comfortable with. Miserable, yes. But comfortable.

But by doing so, I was robbing myself of the ability to grow. I was indirectly convincing myself that I wasn’t good enough to do something new. And the more I let the excuses win, the more I started to believe them to be true.

Something deep within me convinced me I had to do something though. I found myself in the position where I could just keep on doing what I knew I could do…

Or I could finally stop complaining about how much I hated my life and start making changes.

The thought of being miserable and stuck teaching for yet another year finally pushed me over the edge.

So I set my eyes on becoming an ex-teacher and never looked back.

“Done is better than perfect” & other wise words

As I started to push myself into this new world of copywriting, freelancing, and entrepreneurship, I began to look for long-distance mentors. People who put out blogs or podcasts and who shared value beyond what I could believe was free. These people helped me so much though they don’t know I exist.

And through the wise words from these thought leaders, I began to shift my mindset. I began to see things in a new way.

I often heard phrases repeated time and time again, and the more I listened to the deeper message, the more I knew it to be true.

The idea that done is better than perfect.

And that you don’t need to know everything… you just need a 10% edge on the people who aren’t as far along as you.

And one that really stuck with me…

If you’re worried about what people further along than you will think… Well, they don’t actually think about you. No one successful or further along than you is going to judge you, call you out, or make you feel bad for putting yourself out there and doing something new.

With every post and podcast, I was reassured that there are so many people out there who know less than I do and that they would LOVE my insight.

And that my imperfect ideas could be just the thing that motivates someone else to get off their ass and start taking action…

Just like how these pep talks and motivational messages were helping me get off mine.

But none of this will do any good if I keep my ideas in my head.

Why people let perfectionism hold them back (including me)

Even with this newfound motivation and spark of inspiration, no matter how hard I tried… I still couldn’t do it.

I couldn’t put myself out there. I had everything set in place to start building up an email list, but I kept holding myself back from starting to actually grow it. I had social media posts and blog ideas lined up just waiting to be written, but I kept telling myself they weren’t good enough to actually write. 

But WHY? I knew what I needed to do, so why was it so damn impossible to just DO it?

I started to reflect and try to find the root cause of this evil called perfectionism. And as much as I love to say things like, “I don’t care what people think” or “I’ll do what I want and people can like it or not” …at the time, I was just lying to myself.

I DID care what people thought. I DID want people to like what I was doing. And the more I dug into this, the more I learned that a fear of judgment or disapproval from others can actually lead to perfectionist tendencies.

Damn it! 

But this wasn’t the only thing I realized. I also learned that perfectionism can stem from tying self-worth to achievements. And when I read that, it made complete sense. 

I had been a teacher for nearly a decade. It’s what I knew. I could do it with my eyes closed. And though I had been copywriting “on the side” for a while, jumping in with both feet and leaving teaching in the dust meant I had to do new things. New things I probably wouldn’t be great at the first time around. Or the second. 

I was so used to being great at something (because I’ll toot my own horn and say I was a damn good teacher), but now, I would go back to square one. I had to put those beginner’s shoes back on and be okay with failing. But I just wasn’t okay with that yet.

So I let perfectionism stop me.

The mindset shift that changed everything

When I first started this new path, my goals were centered on me.

I wanted freedom for myself. I wanted to pursue a job that was challenging, fun, fulfilling, purposeful… I wanted to feel in control. Hell, I wanted to be able to pee when I needed to. (Teachers, you know.)

But I started hitting those goals. So I needed new ones.

And then, the purpose of goals shifted.

As I really got into copywriting and storytelling, I realized, the best part about this new path isn’t what it gives me (though it’s pretty great)...

It’s what I can do to help YOU and others find success too. It’s how I can help people share their stories, form deeper connections with their community, and grow their business.

It stopped being about how I could get myself out of misery and started becoming how I could help you achieve growth, right alongside me.

Taking that pressure off myself and putting my focus on you lifted the high expectation I placed on myself to be perfect. Because it wasn’t about me anymore.

And how can I help you if I hold everything inside?

Questions I asked myself to punch perfectionism in the face

Finally, I was ready to do the damn thing.

I started writing blog posts with the goal of providing true value to other entrepreneurs who needed help with copywriting, storytelling, and maybe some new perspectives on all this wellness stuff. Because that’s important too, you know.

I created a kick-ass free guide, started building up my email list, and committed to sending a weekly email packed with education and entertainment. 

I got more comfortable with hitting send, post, submit, or any other word that reminded me I was about to be vulnerable. But the more I did it, the less I cared. Like, truly this time.

When things felt scary, I started asking myself questions like this.

(And these could be helpful for you too, so pay attention!)

How can this story help others?

What am I keeping from my community if I don’t share this story?

If this experience affected my life, how can I use it to help those I serve?

What is the deeper meaning of this message and how will this benefit others?

And though there are still times when I hesitate, doubt myself, try to make excuses, or feel like I’d rather just go run and hide…

I’ve made showing up a habit. No motivation required (because motivation is BS anyway but that’s a whole different story). I’ve stuck with it no matter how I’m feeling so it’s just become something that needs to get done now.

Is it perfect? Hardly ever.

But that’s okay. Because now, I get comments on my blog posts telling me how helpful they are. I get responses to my emails where people in my community share how they can absolutely relate to what I wrote. I get replies and reposts from my LinkedIn and Instagram content, acknowledging the stories and perspectives I share are, in fact, helpful.

…I go back and notice mistakes and things I wish I wrote differently.

But I’m not letting perfectionism win anymore. 

And I hope by sharing this little piece of my journey, it can serve as a reminder that if you’re feeling this way, you’re not alone.

In fact, I’d argue that everyone feels this way when they’re starting something new.

Entrepreneurship is a wild freakin’ ride, but you’re here for a reason. You KNOW you have something amazing to share with this world. So don’t let perfectionism win. 

Write the imperfect posts, send the imperfect email, record the imperfect podcast.

Don’t wait until it’s “perfect” because you’ll be waiting forever.

Do it now.

And if not for yourself, do it for the people who need you.

And if part of what’s holding you back from sharing your stories is that you don’t know where to begin, grab this guide before you get started. I’ve laid out 7 actionable steps to help you organize your thoughts when it comes to storytelling and help you feel more comfy when you write your next email 💜

Do you find perfectionism is holding you back too? 

When you dig deeper, are you able to find what’s really causing it?

I found these articles useful when writing this, if you’d like to take a peek.
Psych Central
VerywellMind